Welcome to week 4 of The Bachelor. Nick is taking the girls to…. WISCONSIN.
“This is awesome!”
-One of the girls (she’s lying)
What happened to trips to Thailand and tropical islands? I would be LIVID. LIKE HELLO THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR.
Also, what a bold move on Nick’s part to be taking the girls home already.
Since the producers of this show have apparently forgotten the formula for how this show works, the episode begins with a pool party turned rose ceremony.
The girls all don’t like Corinne, but Corinne clearly doesn’t care because she is in bed napping. While she’s napping, Vanessa (obvious front runner) basically gives Nick an ultimatum and asks if he’s looking for a wife or a play date (she used a different phrase, but my mom reads this blog so connect the dots).
At the rose ceremony, Corinne gets a rose. The girls are NOT happy. They’re roasting her in their interviews and it’s awesome.
Sadly, one of my favorites Christen got sent home. Nick has bad taste; it’s fine. Brittany also got the boot, which is actually fine because I have no idea who she is.
Nick chats with his parents about love. He really won’t shut up about Andi and Kaitlyn. Maybe he thinks we forgot he’s done this before. NEWSFLASH: WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN.
Thankfully Nick’s parents know what’s up. His mom starts crying, probably because her son is looking for love on a tv show for the fourth time. His dad seems 100% over this whole thing.
“We don’t want to see you on this show again”
-Nick’s Dad (and everyone else)
One-on-one with Danielle
The lovebirds head to a bakery to decorate cookies, a very realistic date. Nick runs into one of his exes. Isn’t that just so convenient. Nick describes the situation as “trippy.” BRUH.
Pro-tip: Nick stop with the exes. This is too much. If I hear about one or see one again I will SCREAM.
Nick and Danielle go to dinner and talk. Frankly, I’m bored and can’t focus because Nick is wearing a hideous red leather jacket. Danielle gets a rose.
How mad would you be if you went to a concert and there was a couple on an elevated platform making out? I would demand a refund. Uncomf isn’t a strong enough word to explain how watching Nick and Danielle “dance” made me feel.
Rachel, Alexis, Vanessa, Jasmine, Jaimi, Sarah, Whitney, Kristina, Astrid, Taylor, Josephine, Corinne and Danielle head to the farm to shovel cow poop and do other farm chores. That would be my cue to excuse myself from the show. Obviously no one gave these girls the heads up they’d be shoveling poop because they all have on nice clothes.
In fact, a few of the contestants are wearing sweater crop tops. WHY?! What is the point of a cropped sweater? Does that keep you warm? During what season do you wear a sweater crop top?
Corinne is not into these chores. She doesn’t even do chores at home, Raquel does. Corinne makes it very clear she wouldn’t even make Raquel do the chores the girls are doing on this date.
After the poop is all cleaned up, the ladies get to talk to Nick one on one.
Corinne compares herself to corn. It’s weird.
Vanessa shares a book “her students wrote” for Nick. I had to put that in quotes because they’re 1st graders so I’m not sure how capable they are of actually making that book.
Corinne clashes with the girls telling them she’s ready to marry Nick, needed a nap and feels exiled.
Even though they only talked for three minutes, Kristina gets the rose!
One-on-one with Raven
Raven and Nick head to the soccer field to hangout with Nick’s little sister, Bella, and her soccer team. Nick is not a soccer guy, which is apparent by his goalie skills. I think all of the 11-year-olds scored on him. Embarrassing.
However, I will admit Nick helping with the team is probably one of the best moments thus far.
Raven meets Nick’s parents. THIS IS ALL HAPPENING WAY TOO FAST. PUMP THE BRAKES PEOPLE.
As if this date wasn’t childish enough, the duo goes to Skateland. WOOHOO. TBT to rollerblading dates in 3rd grade. Nick has some sick roller skating moves. He should stay away from soccer and stick with rollerskating.
They start making out against a wall and I’m like UHHH WHERE IS BELLA? HER INNOCENT EYES SHOULDN’T SEE THIS!!!!
They went to dinner. Raven gets a rose after disclosing to Nick she beat her ex with a heel when she caught him cheating. She and Nick go great together because they both like to talk about their exes.
Back at the house it’s time for a cocktail party.
Taylor and Corinne have a little beef and by the looks of next week’s promo they will be on a two-on-one date. This is like Chad and what’s his face with Jojo all over again.
And that’s the end. No rose ceremony, which drive me bonkers, but I don’t make the rules.
Overall, this episode was boring. Here’s hoping next week is better.
You can watch the full episode here.
See ya next week!