Bachelor / Fun

Bachelor Recap: Everyone Gets a Bowling Trophy

It’s week five with this boring, sub-par, retired race car driver as our Bachelor.

The girls are IN AWE of their hotel in Fort Lauderdale. They’re not so in awe of Krystal, in fact they hate her.

Chelsea, who in case you forgot is a mom, gets the first one-on-one. She and Arie spend time on a yacht and play on jet skis as the girls watch from their hotel suite. Way to rub it in guys.

While Arie and Chelsea do water things, Maquel comes back and the girls shriek with joy. Welcome back!!

Anyway, the one-on-one date was boring to say the least. Remember when we all thought Chelsea would be the villain then Krystal showed her true colors? Anyway, Chelsea talks about her kid and ex, which proves she’s still pretty one dimensional. Arie loves moms so Chelsea gets a rose.

Back at the hotel, the group date card comes for all the girls except Tia aka Raven 2.0. It’s a bowling date, which is one of my least favorite dates ever.

Arie (the producers) put the girls against eachother to win time with him after the game. It’s blue team v. pink team. The pink team is as pitiful at bowling as Arie was at racing cars. Because he knows what it feels like to lose, Arie decides to just let everyone come hang after.

Well, Krystal is not a fan. She is sick of these entitled millennials who think everyone should get a trophy. Arie’s decision makes her question if she can trust that he’s a man of his word. It’s really not that deep, but to her it is so she boycotts the afterparty. Bold move.

At one point it works in her favor when Arie goes upstairs to check on her after the girls explain the sitch. However, that quickly takes a turn when he essentially grounds her by telling her to stay in her room and not come to the date.

Because Krystal is a boss babe and doesn’t listen to any man, she walks up to the date right as Bekah is mocking her. The girls rip into her for being so disrespectful and she goes back to her room and puts her fluffy robe back on without even talking to Arie again. What a waste of a full face of makeup.

Arie talks to the other women, rubs their collarbones, plays with their hair and does his other weird Arie stuff. What a creep. Lauren B. comes out of the woodwork with a game of 20 questions, which you might remember your middle school crush asking you to play. Arie was into it enough to give her the rose over Becca whom he had a great conversation with as well.

Tia, Raven 2.0, gets a “country” one-on-one because she’s a country girl. Homegirls is wearing FRESH white Converse only to find out they’re going to go try to spot some gators, eat frogs and walk in mud. Those are froshing shoes now, girl.

Tia tells Arie later that night she’s falling in love with him, but he’s sketched out that she doesn’t look at him when she says it. Raven 2.0 tries again and looks him in the eye. Cue Arie’s tongue down her throat and a rose.

At the cocktail party we saw some interesting conversations. Kendall (taxidermy enthusiast) in a possible attempt to match Arie’s creepy level asked if he’d eat human meat. She would. YIKES.

Then of course there was Krystal. The “couple” recapped what happened a few days before when she skipped out on the date. By the tone in Krystal’s voice you can tell she loves that it’s their first fight. Arie hits her with the zinger that it could be their last.

Well, it wasn’t. Krystal gets the last rose of the night. She should write thank you cards to the producers for that.

Who Got the Boot:

Ashley and Marikh (FINALLY!!!)

Maquel, which is depressing because she just returned from her grandpa’s funeral, these producers are showing no mercy.

My Favorites:

Seinne forever, Lauren B and Becca

My Least Favorites:

Jacqueline who should’ve been eliminated episodes ago, but is still on my tv

You can watch the full episode here.

Follow me on twitter @wellesleylauren for live tweets every week! And now, live Instagram stories or “BachelorGrams” with Brett on @wellesleylauren.

THX 4 THE PICS ABC AND CONTESTANTS!!!
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