The Bachelor off-season ended last night when Pilot Pete met his 30 girlfriends, and I can’t remember any of their names. There were plenty of flight puns, windmill jokes and super cringe-worthy intros.
Thankfully, there wasn’t much filler. I guess the producers finally listened and stopped including watch parties and boring conversations between the lead and former successful Bachelor couples! It was three hours packed with nothing but classic Bachelor drama AND we already have a “to be continued” cliffhanger. Thank you, production!
I was shocked when we hopped right in with meeting the girls. The entrances included just about everything.
One woman brought an emotional support cow as a gift for Peter. Another was contorted in a suitcase that Peter had to open. Of course there were costumes like paper planes and windmills.
Eunice, wearing angel wings, thought she was special because she’s a flight attendant, but it turns out there are three flight attendants this season so she better find another way to stick out.
Some entrances were more heartfelt like the contestant who brought a letter her grandma wrote to Peter, which seemed F A K E.
And just to freak out Pete’s girls, Hannah Brown comes out of the last limo and returns the wings Pete gave her during his intro on The Bachelorette.
During the cocktail party each girl shoots her shot and Pete kisses a lot of them. Like so many that he’s giving the kissing bandit, Arie, a run for his money.
Pete and Hannah Ann have a great conversation, and automatically she becomes my frontrunner. Hannah Ann is feeling herself and goes back to talk to Pete two more times. The other girls are FED UP, but apparently Pete doesn’t care because he gives her the first impression rose.
It’s about an hour and a half in and we get a rose ceremony. Isn’t that amazing?! Way to keep things moving, producers.
Eight women got cut: Maurissa, Avonlea, Jade, Kylie, Megan, Katrina, Eunice and Jenna. I don’t even remember what they looked like, and I doubt you do either.
It’s time for a group date with nine girls whose names I don’t remember. They’re going to “flight school”. Some super hardcore, super cool female pilots quiz Pete’s girls on their flight knowledge. They know nothing.
The turbulence simulator makes one girl cry and puke, which is a very cute look. Pete is at least a nice boy and brings the girl a water when he checks on her in the bathroom.
Then they compete in an obstacle course on tricycles with cardboard plane wings (very low budget). Kelley cheating during the obstacle course led her to win a little extra one-on-one time with pilot Pete.
She and Pete have already has alone time together as she met him in a hotel lobby prior to filming (spicy). The other women are not happy that cheater Kelley won the obstacle course AND the date rose. So much for cheaters never win, huh?
At the mansion, Madison gets a date card. Pete picks her up and takes her to his parents vow renewal, which he is officiating. Pete’s mom loves Madison, but she definitely gives off the vibe of a mom who just loves everyone.
The vow renewal was sweet, but then in traditional Bachelor fashion Pete whisks Madison away to a private concert of a country artist that I’m pretty sure has been on The Bachelor before. Madison gets a rose.
Then, we get another group date!!! This one is hosted by Hannah Brown. I wouldn’t want my ex hosting any of my dates but okay? She tells the windmill story again, which makes the whole situation even more awkward.
Hannah Brown then of course makes the whole date about herself, which is why you shouldn’t invite someone’s ex to host a date!! She’s crying about seeing Pete with other girls, and talks about their past and the decision she made by choosing Jed.
Pete invites Hannah to join in the show. The episode ends with “To Be Continued…”
So you tell me. Do you think Hannah B. joins the cast? She has his number she should’ve just called him up months ago. This is messy, but I love it.